


Game People

by MaelGalant



Category: Game Grumps, Good Game (TV 2017)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, No Smut, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:01:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26923300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaelGalant/pseuds/MaelGalant
Summary: Alex learn that Pewdiepie earns something like seven million per month, and try to convince his roomate Ryland to become a youtuber with him.
Relationships: Ryland/Alex Taylor (Good Game)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Kung Fu

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first langage, but I hope I made my work readable. 
> 
> This work will be more of a collection of OS than a real story, because hey, it's fun to listen to old videos of Game Grumps and try to imagine what these dialogues would look like with the characters of Alex and Ryland.

Ryland jumped off the couch as soon as he heard the key in the lock, running to his bedroom to grab the first pair of pants within reach. By the time he pulled it on and get back to his place, Alex pushed open the door with his usual big stupid smile.

\- Hey! What’d you do all day?  
\- Uh, different stuff. Why? Are you writing a book about me?

Ryland heard the fridge door opening behind him, then the characteristic noise of Alex opening a bottle of beer. Moments later, his roommate appeared in his peripheral vision, swinging aside the bin of soiled laundry to better settle his butt on the loveseat.

\- Did you spend it playing video games?  
\- Yes…  
\- Good! Don’t be ashamed! Because I saw something that’s gonna take your balls and blow ‘em out of your ass into a box of more balls.

Suddenly, Alex was on his feet, far too energetic for a late afternoon, gesturing dramatically in his direction to the point of making Ryland's eyes roll in his sockets. Then a whiff of alcohol and weed rose in his nose as the man dropped to his side, one foot slamming an empty soda can on the floor as he stretched out his leg on top of the coffee table.

\- What do you think when I say the word youtuber?

Ryland didn't even try to answer, focused on removing the arm that Alex had wrapped around his shoulders. But his roommate was the tactile type, so keeping his distance always ended up in a lost cause.

\- There’s this guy, Piewdiepie, that makes like, seven million dollars a month just by playing video games on camera. He made a job out of doing the thing that not having a job used to look like!  
\- So what? He got his channel for years now, it’s not like he made all these subscribers in one night.  
\- I’m doing this.  
\- Doing what?  
\- Starting a youtube channel. You in?  
\- The fuck no!  
\- Please, Ryland, you really know your shit, dude…  
\- Listen Alex, I support you, but you’re gonna do this alone, buddy.

The truth is, Ryland knew Alex. Everytime he had a new project, he would do all these crazy researches on Google, work on it seriously for one day, then forget all about it one week later after realising that he would not get these millions that easily. And that’s exactly what happened. He'd spent all night talking about statistics, and the popularity of new expensive games versus the nostalgic attractiveness of the retro ones, and why he chose that last category to save on their money. In the end, he still spent fifty dollars on new NES cartridges he found at a garage sale the next day. A bill that would have been better used for groceries, especially since Alex's project would be ancient history in no time… but on the other hand, Ryland would never object to a larger collection of video games.

So once the weekend arrived, Ryland found Alex kneeling on the living room rug, their coffee table pushed aside to better connect a handful of electrical wires between his laptop and the TV screen. Sighing, the man ignored him, and crashed into the kitchen in front of a bowl of cereal and a Marvel comic. Luckily for him, they couldn't afford a quality camera, and he had convinced Alex not to do facecam during his let’s play. Since he also couldn't see a microphone nearby, his roommate had obviously decided to do voiceover rather than recording his immediate reactions, which wasn't such a bad idea if he wanted to avoid sounding like the mess he normally was. As proof, Alex was already starting to blab out loud, like he used to do when he was left to his own devices for too long.

\- We’re going way back, this is from 1985. And this is me playing.

Alex then started to mimic, loudly, the sound of his character kicking his opponents ass. It didn't take long for Ryland to lose patience, his temper already thin at only ten in the morning. 

\- Can you keep it down? I’m trying to read.  
\- Sorry… 

And now Alex was sounding like a kicked puppy, great. Cursing his weakness, Ryland ditched his comicbook to go sit on the loveseat, hoping that his presence would be enough to bring back Alex's good mood. And right away, his roommate gave him a big delighted smile when he realized that he had his attention, pressing the buttons on his controller a little more excitedly to better smash his enemies.

\- Why are you inexplicably the master of 8bits kung fu?  
\- Me? I don’t know, man. I love Bruce Lee movies. We should do a marathon of them one day.

Ryland just shrugged, not keen to engage himself in anything that would imply Alex, knowing that his roommate would make him wait a full evening because he would be too busy getting drunk at his favorite bar. Instead, his gaze lingered on the screen, the scene looking strangely familiar, until he suddenly recognized the game in question.

\- Can you believe it? This game was considered an enormous leap forward in technology in it’s time. Gosh this is awkward, now.  
\- Oh, is that why everybody I’m fighting is so fabulous?

It’s true that his opponents were in bright pink and purple robes, but this had nothing to do with the quality of graphics. To be fair, it’s not like Alex would understand the difference, with his limited acquaintance to video games. 

\- I don’t know. I also don’t know why they are so weak, one punch just kills them. I used to beat this shit all the time as a kid.  
\- Think you can do it now?  
\- Well, I’m not a child anymore, I had to learn to put away stupid fucking things.

His tone was more defensive than he would have liked, but when his aggressiveness was not directly pushed in Alex's direction, that guy was a freaking bouddhist monk for ignoring bad vibes. Even when he was cursing, he sounded more pleasantly surprised than anything else. 

\- Damnit, so many knife men.  
\- “Oh no, my slow ass sword got easily over his head!”

Alex started giggling at Ryland’s voice imitation, even if it was full of hurtful sarcasm. It was one of the things Ryland liked about him, the fact that he was easily amused by his exasperated words, but would never laugh when he was in legit anger. So Ryland would continue his rants without the impression of killing the mood, and without the fear of becoming the butt of the joke. 

\- And they keep following you forever, that’s so stupid.  
\- Yeah, fuck you knife guy… Nooooo, now they’re two! Please everybody, stop with this nonsense!

This marked the first death of Alex, but the man only laughed at his demise before restarting the level while singing Thriller from Micheal Jackson, maybe because the low kicks of his character were making him remember the dance moves of the singer. It didn’t take him long before coming face to face with the first boss, and Ryland suddenly realized that he already finished his cereal bowl, and was way more into the game that he would have liked. 

\- Whoa dude, he got a stick, watch out!  
\- I know, I know, I see it!  
\- He’s long range, you gotta back out when he reals back!

Ryland barely finished his sentence when the boss knocked Alex’s character on the head, killing him in a final blow. Still, his roommate’s mood was high as he was smiling at the screen with a calm determination. 

\- Alright, let me try that again, for real now.

And suddenly, it was as if a fire took possession of his mind, flickering in his eyes as he crushed the first level with ease, killing the boss and taking the stairs to the next floor in a quick beat. Even his slack body language changed, torso now leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, and it was… kinda beautiful to watch him so concentrate on his task. Even more when his face lit up with wonder.

\- Oh, a midget!  
\- Yeah, they run up and they do a flip on you.  
\- What? It’s so sad, I don’t like killing little guys.  
\- Well, you’re fucked, they’re bouncing all over your head.  
\- That’s not good.

But he survived, and killed the second boss so quickly Ryland didn’t even get the chance to see what his special technique was, something like a boomerang if he remembered correctly. For someone who never touched a controler in the first thirty years of his life, Alex was incredibly good, as if he was someone else. But now that he thought about it, it was the first time Ryland ever saw his roommate sober, since Alex was too excited with his project to think about lighting up some weed. 

\- Dude, you’re halfway through this game.  
\- Are you serious?  
\- Yeah, there’s five levels and you are at the third one. Kung Fu is a really short game, if you can’t beat it on your own, you’re kind of stupide.

And visibly, Alex was not. The third level went by at full speed, and suddenly, there was a big black guy in front of him as he was trying to escape more annoying purple dudes.

\- Look at the size of this gentleman!  
\- That’s the giant, kick him, kick him… and he kicked you out of oblivion.  
\- Ah, look at his face ! He’s very happy.

In fact, the large grin was truly terrifying, but it was typical of Alex to be oblivious of that fact to better concentrate on positive thinking. Then the title screen appeared, and the smile of Alex vanished for his next favorite expression, the pitiful lost puppy.

\- Wait, I have to start all over ? Ok, alright, I just have to relax and bring it on.  
\- Do you want some Xanax?  
\- I don’t know what that means.  
\- It helps anxiety.  
\- Oh, in that case, yes please. Who wouldn’t have anxiety trying to kung fu their way up a building?

They were both joking, of course. But the twinge in his heart was suddenly difficult to ignore as Ryland remembered the bottle of expired pills in the depths of their pharmacie. Sometimes, he didn't know if he stopped having panic attacks because he became better, or just because he stopped pushing himself to do anything. Nervously, his thumb followed the thin pale scars on the interior of his arms as Alex was singing Kung Fu Fighting while speedrunning the first three levels. 

\- And we are back. This is not good, I’ve taken too much damage to fight the giant.  
\- Try to crunch kick him.  
\- No, I don’t want to because he gives low kicks and…

Just to tell him wrong, the giant gave him a fatal high punch, and Alex almost threw the controller in disbelief. It was kinda cute to see him getting so invested to the point of unconsciously copying gamer reactions.

\- Damnit, in one punch, man!  
\- Just try again.  
\- I was too worried about the knife guy behind me. I’ll have to take care of him beforehand.

And that’s exactly what he did, clearing the level before approaching the boss. He even got to land a punch for the first time, pulling an impressed whistle out of Ryland.

\- Nice, right in the face… Ooooh, he fucking kicked you in the balls, dude!  
\- That boss is impossible!  
\- Nah, you can do it, man. You still have a life left.

The third time was the charm, as the two of them were on the verge of their seat, the hasty advices of Ryland mingling with the small excited shoots of Alex. 

\- Kyah!  
\- No, dude, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait… Punch now!  
\- Yes! We did it! No more giant, no more… Bees! Why would there be bees?!

Ryland exploded in laughter as Alex was trying to run back the stairs he just climbed, chased by the flying insect. When he realised he couldn’t go back, he finally exploded the creature with a punch.

\- I love how they slowly get weird on you. Like, first there’s regular dudes, then dudes with knives, then tiny dudes, and then…  
\- BEES!!  
\- Oh man, look at them coming at you! Watch out, they come right up from behind you, and you have zero life left.  
\- I know, thank you for reminding me. I’m trying real hard. Wait, what the fuck? This motherfucker is throwing fireballs at me!

Again, Alex was already at the end of the stage, and the attack got him right in the face, draining more than half his life. In retaliation, Alex kicked the boss straight at the head, making it roll on the ground. It seemed like it was the end of it, until his enemy reappeared in a puff of smoke, blowing a low fireball that touched Alex at the ankle.

\- Woah! Woah! His head fell off! And now I’m at the start! Ok, I just have to go back there and try to not take damage, it’ll be perfect.

And so he did, only to be beaten again by the same dude looking like the hunchback of Notre-Dame.

\- He’s so strong! I tried to get close before he came back, but he got me.  
\- You have to punch him, you’ve just been kicking him.  
\- Really?  
\- Yeah, when you kick his head off, it does no damage and he just comes back.  
\- That’s a solid point you just made there. Okay, I’ll try it again.

Fortunately this time, he only had to finish the fourth stage, and not start the game all over again, before going face to face with the magician. So with the new tactic freshly in mind, he only had to give a triple crouch punch on the chin of his enemy before killing him.

\- Yeah!  
\- Alright, level five, here we go.  
\- My palms are sweating.  
\- Don’t worry, you’re rocking this.

Alex was rubbing his hands on his tights as the game suddenly cut to a cinematic, or at least the equivalent for the time. It was more of a fixed image with a woman in purple dress tied to a chair, and a white short text explaining the situation on the screen.

\- Save Sylvia from Mister X?  
\- “Help me Thomas!”  
\- Oh, so I guess my name is Thomas, then. 

Ryland sneered, trying to ignore the straining in his throat after exaggerating the high pitch of the woman's voice. But to be fair, he didn’t really want to see Alex die again and again, and climb all those same stages until he could figure out how to beat the last boss. After all, there was still a limit to the incredible optimisme of Alex, and it would be a shame to see him stop playing video games after an enraging first experience. 

\- Alright, so, that Mister X is a fancy foe, but you can take him down, because…

A sudden and loud burp interrupted him mid-sentence, as it was custom with his roommate and his alimentation almost exclusively made from fermented drinks. Sighing, Ryland just ignored it to continue his advices, even if it was suddenly tempting to let Alex go through the trouble by himself.

\- … he just glitch the fuck out, so all you have to do is crouch kick him.  
\- Great. Oh, I think it’s Mister X right here.

The design of the boss was not that impressive, with just dark clothes and red sleeves like all typical villains. The battle against him was even less incredible, as Alex immediately crouch kicked the air in front of him, waiting for Mister X to stupidly walk to him and get his feet crushed to death without landing a single blow. 

\- Yeah! Suck it forever!  
\- What a piece of shit, dude. This game is ridiculous.  
\- Just let me claim Sylvia… I mean, rescue her.

There was a little celebratory music as the woman was liberated from her chair and thrust into a passionate embrace in the arms of Thomas. Little hearts were flying as the score was calculated, and Alex closed the NES with a satisfied smile.

\- Well, that’s the end. Next time on Game People!

And with that, he stopped his recording, under the disbelieved look of Ryland.

\- That’s the name of your youtube channel.  
\- Yeah! Because we’re people that like games. And I looked up to be sure nobody already had that name, you know.

Because it was a stupid channel name, but Ryland didn’t have the courage to say it out loud, not when Alex was so pround and happy like that.


	2. Super Mario Bros

Ryland had just finished rinsing his cereal bowl when Alex called him from the living room.

\- Hey, let’s do Super Mario Bros.  
\- The first game wasn’t enough for a video?  
\- Yeah, but I want to make a bunch of them in advance. That way, even if I just play one day a week, I can still load a video a day.  
\- Let me guess, you read that in a recommendation for beginners on youtube.

With a grunt, Ryland let himself fall on the loveseat, stretching his legs and crossing his arms under his head. Alex was once again kneeling on the rug to change the cartridge of the NES, and Ryland made sure to look everywhere except the butt of his roommate. 

\- That’s a two player game. Do you wanna join this time?

Difficult question. On one hand, Ryland didn’t want to have any connection whatsoever with youtube after the viral video of his teenage years. On the other hand, it was his day off and he had planned to play video games all day long, a project that was kinda ruined now that Alex was taking the living room all for himself. Sure, he could just lock himself in his room to read more comics and play on his computer, but…

\- I’m Mario, you’ll be Luigi.  
\- Ok, so we play one after another?  
\- Yeah. 

Making Alex scooch to the other side of the couch, Ryland left the loveseat to better face the screen, taking the controller in the same movement. The first music notes gave him an instant feeling of nostalgia as he made Mario run the first stage, punching blocks, stomping goombas, and hitting invisible secrets that he still remembered to this day.

\- Dude, I haven’t looked at or played this game in twenty years.  
\- Really?  
\- I remember going over my friend’s house when I was like, four years old or something, just to see his big brother play on the NES. I memorized that shit by heart.  
\- I bet you have.  
\- Check that, boom!

The first stage was cleaned in a record time, and the flag taken down with the maximum of points. As Ryland continued the second one, Alex crossed his infinitely long legs, making himself more comfortable when realizing that his turn will take some time to come.

\- So you play until you die?  
\- Yeah, and since I mastered that game, I’m pretty sure you’ll have to wait until I finish it in one try. Check this out, secret zone!

Using the levitating platform, Ryland got at the top of the brick ceiling, running past the exit to go directly at the secret backstage. 

\- And now I can warp directly to world four.  
\- Nice. How many worlds are there in the game?  
\- Eight, and every one has like, four different stages.  
\- Woah, that’s a lot of levels.

This took Alex into a contemplative silence, as Mario was dodging shells and launching fireballs at carnivorous plants. When finally he spoke again, it was with the same dreamy voice he had after a joint, which was kinda comical since he still hadn't lit one up since this morning.

\- You know, it’s crazy when you think about it, the fact that you hold the power of your character in that little controler.  
\- Well, it’s not that incredible. The thing you have to know about Super Mario is that you are a baby if you don’t...

Of course, it was at that moment he jumped too soon over a pit, hitting Mario’s head on a block and dying stupidly in the fall.

\- … I’m not even gonna finish that sentence.  
\- Alright, my turn.

Ryland gave him the controller with an irritated sight, and soon Mario’s brother was jumping happily back at the start of the game. At least there was that to quickly forget his ridiculous fail.

\- I think this is my favorite iteration of Luigi. Like white overalls, white hat, green shirt… and an insane jaundice.  
\- Yeah, he really does have a yellowish palette to his skin.  
\- And then when he got his fire power, he got this stupid orangey tan, exactly like… You missed the 1up, man.  
\- Did I?

It was in the secret invisible block, so this was not that surprising. Ryland sniggered as Alex tried to go back, just to realise that the screen could only scroll forward. But the man shrugged, not that bothered about the idea of an imperfect run, and resumed his journey to the right side of the screen. 

\- So, what can I pay with all the coins in the game?  
\- You get a 1up when you collect a hundred coins. And you just missed the star.  
\- That’s ok, I’m actually having a good time. It’s nice playing Super Mario with a friend.

Ryland felt his cheeks warming, and huffed to hide it. Alex was too sweet for this world, no surprise it was slowly breaking him and pushing him into drugs and alcohol to forget. But Ryland didn’t want to feel depressed again, and forced himself to have a cheerful voice as Luigi was jumping high up on the end pole. 

\- Hey! You got max points for the flag.  
\- Yeah! See, I can be good too.

The man was smiling at him, so proud to finish his first ever level, and Ryland forgot briefly the injustice of life, and how much it was making him feel like crap. If Alex was capable of enjoying the little things, he could too. At least, until his perfectionism takes over. 

\- You missed the elevator to go to the warp zone.  
\- I don’t want to use it, I want to see all the worlds.

And that’s exactly what he did, finishing the second and third level with an astonishing facility before entering the final castle of world one. Alex was a natural, instinctively picking up cues and reacting quickly at Ryland warning, and for an experienced gamer like Ryland, it was truly fascinating to see. The experience was even more nostalgic since Alex had the same child wonder that animated Ryland when he discovered video games for the first time.

\- Oh, I really like the lava in this game. It’s like water, but painted in red.  
\- Watch out for the fire, dude. It goes pretty far.  
\- Oh, that’s the boss! He’s so scary, but I like that he looks like a dinosaur. Do I jump on him?  
\- No, he gots spikes. Just go over his head… or kill him with fire, it just takes more time.

Of course, Alex chose the second option, dodging the fireball of the fake Bowser to better respond in kind, and Ryland let him have his fun despite his exacerbated voice. Finally, the monster fell off the bridge into the lava pit, to the excitement of Alex.

\- I got him! Good thing I got that flower in the last stage. Hey, who’s that?  
\- It’s Toad, just telling you that the princess is in another castle.  
\- Oh, so we have to save another girl?  
\- Yeah, that was pretty much all video game goals back then.

Funny that Alex didn’t emphasize the strange look of the mushroom man in diaper, but at that point, he had already crossed many goombas, so maybe he just became desensitized. As proof, his run of the second world was quicker than the first, even confronting his first water level as if it was a walk in the park. 

\- These are the worst, it feels like you have no control.  
\- At least the fishes are slow.

Two times at least, Ryland had to hold back an impressed comment on his performance, as to keep his pride intact. But then Alex entered the third world, and the gamer knew it was the end of this incredible run. 

\- You’re screwed, this part is the fucking hardest.  
\- The sky is dark, is it because it’s night time?  
\- It’s because it’s the black death of all levels. Marios is a world of hurt.  
\- But I feel this game teaches patience, you know? I like it.

As on cue, Alex jumped a second time on a Koopa, projecting the shell against a nearby wall to better rebound right back at Luigi, killing him on the spot. But as usual, Alex only shrugged at this first death, giving the controller back to Ryland with a smile. Eager to show his skills again, Ryland prepared himself to face the fourth world, hoping to put some distance between him and Alex as his roommate was getting dangerously close. Or it was his intention, if it wasn’t for these stupid jumps right at the entrance of the underground level.

\- Cocksucking dog shit!

At least, his anger was met with the uncontrollable laughter of Alex, tears at the corner of his eyes as his shoulder came crashing against Ryland. It was a cute little sound, something that was always able to calm him down, or at least, enough to not explode in blind rage over his failure. It was a little difficult, however, to ignore the pinch of jealousy in his stomach as Alex dominated the third and fourth world of the game, running beyond his position to better enter the fifth one.

\- Dude, the trees are white, it’s snowy here!  
\- Or Nintendo just ran out of paint. Just watch out, hammer brothers are no joke. Theses guys are like, the biggest threat to fucking mankind.

Ryland regretted his comment almost immediately when he realized that Alex would follow his advice to the letter, taking his sweet time to evaluate the pattern of the axes, until Ryland’s impatience tooks over. 

\- Can you hurry up a little bit? You think you are three and have all the time in the world?

That’s what finally gives a push to Alex, passing the enemy with no difficulty, but only to jump straight into a pit because of the pressure.

\- Damn these jumps, that’s like treading a needle! 

Sneering, Ryland took the controller back, making sure this time to not die stupidly before hitting the secret block containing the vine. A small forest of giant mushrooms later, and he was back at the front of the race. 

\- Hey, look at you, already at world eight!  
\- Yeah, because I used another warp zone.  
\- Do you think you’ll beat this game in just an hour?  
\- Sure, and then I’ll have to wait for your sorry ass to finish.

Sure enough, his overconfidence took the better of him, as his distraction made him jump straight in the mouth of a piranha plant. Fortunately, he had taken a fire flower in the last level, and didn’t die on the spot, but it still made him scream in terror by reflex. 

\- Oh yeah, there’s something very upsetting about getting smaller. You get so tiny.  
\- This game is a touch harder than I remember it.

This was a pitoyable excuse, but at least, he knew how to catch up by hitting a hidden block and revealing a star. Then the rest was just an easy ride as he destroyed every enemy on his path.

\- Oh yeah, take this! Feels so good between the tights.  
\- Hey, this is a little bit personnal, but have you ever had sex dreams?

If Ryland had a drink in his hand, that would have been a good time to dramatically spit out his beverage, but fortunately, it was not the case. Not that this kind of conversation was surprising, coming of Alex. That dude had no filter, and the tendency to just jump from a subject to another with only a word to bridge the two. Ryland suspected some untreated attention disorder, but since he wasn’t a specialist, it wasn’t really his place to talk. Still, that was a really personal question, especially as they were recording a youtube video… but since it was supposed to be a voice over, it’s not like people will hear about their weird discussions, right?

\- Dude, that’s my fucking affliction right now.  
\- Wait, what does affliction mean?  
\- It means that you are cursed with something.  
\- Oh, so that’s like a negative thing, then.  
\- Yeah, because these things are wild, and you can’t stop it, and then you wake up confused as fuck.

Was he telling too much? Of course he was telling too much, and then Alex would ask him why it confused him, and then Ryland would have to think fast for a lie, because how can you tell your roommate that you’re totally straight, really straight, but that your stupid brain can’t stop giving you these sex dream of your male friends, or your favorite actor, and that you would wake up feeling like shit because you’re still hard as fuck and wanting more, even when you know that it’s just wrong and you’re the worst? But no, Alex just fixed the screen with his habitual dreamy expression, as if he didn’t hear his response because he was too deep in his thoughts.

\- That’s strange.  
\- Why, you never had a “happy time” dream?  
\- No. I was told that like, 98% of people have them once they are teenagers, but to be fair, I’m glad I never wake up with jizz in my bed because of a dream. That would be awkward.  
\- Oh, no, if you jerk it out of your system before going to sleep, it doesn’t happen.  
\- But it’s still in your sheets.  
\- Not if you’re doing it in the shower.  
\- I don’t like to jack off while standing, my knees get all weak.  
\- But that’s the best part!  
\- I don’t wanna tumble over, hurt myself, and then have to explain to the doctor how I broke my leg in the shower.  
\- Then where are you doing it if it’s not in your bed or the shower?  
\- Well, in front of the computer, duh. That’s why porn exists. Wait, there’s a bullet that follows you.

Bless the easily distracted mind of his roommate, because Ryland wouldn’t have supported any more details about his masturbating habits, not while knowing that his brain would use this as fuel for his stupid dreams. Still, he would never look the same way again at the end table of their dining room, where Alex plugs his laptop. So, with all the strength of his mind, Ryland returned his attention to the game, where the bullet was still following him across the level.

\- It’s not that big of a deal, I got a star, so...

Of course, as if he was cursed or something, his star power suddenly vanished the moment he had to slow down to avoid an obstacle, making him collide with the bullet and dying on the spot.

\- No, I used to be great at this!

In his frustration, Ryland made a strangled sound, and Alex suddenly turned his head in his direction with a surprised look.

\- Wow, that noise was sexy.  
\- Waht? It’s not like I can control it or anything.

His gruff response was definitely not convincing with the huge blush igniting his face, but at least Alex finally understood it was time to give him space, focusing instead on the game, and sure enough, Luigi was entering the eight world in a speed record, or at least for a noob. 

\- What would happen if we had these big beetles as a pet? Would you love it?  
\- I don’t know, they look like killing machines. And they’re huge, they come up to Mario’s waist.  
\- But that’s cool, that means they can snuggle you. Have you ever seen those dioramas in museums, the one showing the size of bugs during the… Cretaceous or Triassic time? They used to be gigantic.  
\- And gross. Could you imagine a centipede the size of your leg?  
\- Yeah, that’s fucking rad! I wish I could see that.  
\- You and I have vastly different ideas of what’s interesting… Hey, you know that you can just go over the small holes if you run fast enough, right?  
\- Yeah, but I wanna play slow and steady because we already embarrassed ourself in the last level.  
\- I didn’t embarrass myself, you embarrass yourself. I just showed how good of a player I am and then I made a couple accidents.  
\- Can you think of your most embarrassing moment?

Why would Alex be like that? Why? Now Ryland was reliving in every precise detail the day his mother secretly filmed his breakdown after she changed his DotA password, only because he refused to clean the cat litter box for a third time this week. Oh yeah, she had been so proud to teach him a lesson about respecting his parents by publicly humiliating him on the whole wide web, never mind that it would cripple his social life to the point of chronic anxiety and depression. 

\- Why would I want to…  
\- I remember mine. I farted in class once.  
\- That’s it?  
\- It was loud, it was sharp, and everyone heard it. So I shot up, because I was bending to get something under my chair, and then everyone started laughing uncontrollably, and I got that hot wash of shame across my face…  
\- Man, I would have been fucking proud.  
\- Oh, I was not, I was humiliated. The girl I had a crush on was laughing, and of course, that’s when the teacher entered the class, so he didn’t know what happened and just saw that I was the center of attention. So he started yelling at me for disrupting the class, and I was at the verge of tears because I’ve lost the respect of everyone…  
\- What a gang of shit suckers.  
\- It was a rough day, man. Hey, can I jump on this flying guy head?  
\- Yes, and then he’s gone for a little bit, so you gotta go fast or he’ll be twice as hard.  
\- Just like me, bro!

Proud of his dick joke, Alex exploded in laughter, bent in two as he was losing his breath… and his concentration. It didn’t take long for a Koopa to take advantage of the situation, snapping a killing blow at Luigi’s face.

\- Oh, fuck.  
\- He took a bite of your head, dude.  
\- At least we’re both on world eight.  
\- Well yeah, I know I’m really good at Mario, but that doesn’t mean I can’t make sure that you keep up with me so you don’t feel alone.  
\- Aw, you’re sweet!  
\- No, I…  
\- Hey, don’t you think that, like, the 1up mushroom looks really poisonous.  
\- Yeah, it looks green and gross. Like Luigi.  
\- I’m curious to know what the creator of this game was thinking when making it. Like, did he know that this game would still be played more than thirty years later? Because you know, this game is fucking amazing.  
\- Well, he made it just after a huge video game industry crash, and it was relatively new technology, so it was a big risk no matter what.  
\- Oh damn, so Mario could have never existed?

Ryland was about to reply when the same bullet hit him, killing Mario yet again. But this time, Ryland kept his calm, or at least enough to just shoot a sarcastic response and not a scream of rage.

\- Yeah, see, I failed on purpose so that you don’t feel bad.  
\- … Do you hate me?

Shit. That was not what he wanted. Alex was maybe chill as fuck, but he was extremly sensitive when aggressivity was directly at him, even for the wrong reasons. Sighing, Ryland gave the controller to his roommate with what he tried to be a reassuring gesture, bumping his knee with the back of his hand. Alex gave him a pitiful little look in exchange.

\- Of course not. I’m really impressed that you’re almost at the same place as me while taking the long route. You learned the physics of the world really fast.  
\- Thank you.  
\- And now that you’re small Luigi, it’ll be easier to go inside the nook and crannies of that place… Wait, what are you doing, get out of there!

Suddenly, Alex was stuck between the throws of two hammer brothers, dodging the projectile while trying to look for an escape. 

\- That’s ok, I just have to...

Whatever was his plan, it didn’t work at the end, as one of the hammer knocked Luigi right on the nose and killed him quick and fast. Discouraged, Alex sinked a little more in the couch like a sad puppet without his stings. 

\- I don’t know, man, I was getting close and I got a little nervous.  
\- You should be. You really been fucking it up lately.

The comment made Alex’s eyebrows shot up, but sensing the change of tone for a teasing one, his body was soon shaken by a relieved laugh as Ryland was taking the controler back with a smile. 

\- Wow.  
\- I mean, I’m just saying it as a friend.  
\- You should watch out too, especially in these jumps.

Alex was probably saying that to be snarky, or at least, trying to, because his voice was too honest to be anything but sincere. Still, the result ended up the same as Ryland miscalculated his jump and made Mario fall into the next pit. Struck by disbelief, Ryland waves his arms exaggeratedly in the direction of the screen, while Alex was twisting uncontrollably in his laughter. 

\- Why!? Why did you have to jynx me like that? How did you get these powers, dude? You’re giving me all this unluck, it’s like a reverse rabbit foot!

Alex was struggling to catch his breath, making some shrill squeaks that finally made Ryland burst in laughter with him. They were ridiculous, both of them, but how long was it since the last time Ryland had so much fun? When he could just put his pride on the side, and accept that maybe losing at a game wasn’t the end of the world?

\- I don’t think we’re gonna beat this game.

Alex was wiping the tears at the corner of his eyes, still smiling, so it clearly wasn’t a capitulation of despair. Maybe he just accepted the fact that the last world was too much for their skills, but at the same time, it was his first time playing the game, so of course he overestimated its difficulty. If Ryland had already beaten Super Mario Bros when he was four, then fuck it, he could do it again. 

\- No, we’re gonna beat it, and we’re gonna do it today. That’s how confident I am in my skills.  
\- I can’t do it, dude.  
\- And I know you can gun it, man. This is teamwork now, I’m here to give you the knowledge so you can use it.

Drawing from confidence and determination that he didn’t know he owned, Ryland gave the controller back to Alex, who took it with trembling hands.

\- I’m legitimately panicking right now. I’m at the same stage as you.  
\- Just run! Run!

In a primal scream that Ryland has never heard of him, Alex just pushed Luigi to the end of the level, then stared in shock as the green man jumped the last few blocks to the top of the flagpole. 

\- You did it! You did it! Do not fuck this up! I have faith in you, come on!  
\- Is this… is this the last castle?  
\- Yeah, it’s Bowser’s lair. Please don’t die. Everything in this fucking level is a goddam trial of patience. One of these pipes is the right one to go down, but I don’t remember which one.  
\- That’s super tricky... 

By reflex, Alex took the first pipe in front of him, only to realise a couple of steps further that he was back at the start.

\- … and not cool.  
\- Try the last one, yeah, the pipe in the air. 

And just like that, with lots of trial and error, Luigi was finally facing the final boss.

\- Dude, you’re gonna beat Bowser before me!

Without realising it, both of them were suddenly on their feet, adrenaline pulsing through their veins as Alex made Luigi run without hesitation under a jumping Bowser. And just like that, the lever was pulled, the bridge retracted, and the monster fell into his lava pit under the excited cries of the two men.

\- I did it! I did it!  
\- Fuck you, Bowser! You suck!

They were still laughing as they let themselves fall back on the couch, both smiling like idiots still high on euphoria. On the screen, a small Luigi was walking with triumphant music, while some white text was declaming the gratitude of the princess. Still, Ryland raised an eyebrow at the scene, confused by the mostly white dress and the brown hair of the woman.

\- Wow, I didn’t remember the princess looking like that.  
\- I wouldn’t mind a hand job from her. Oh, and now that’s your turn, I guess?  
\- Who cares?  
\- I like watching you play.  
\- Whatever, I have enough. 

The truth is, this was not his channel, nor his project. If this video had to finish on a victory, it should be Alex’s one, especially since he was just a newbie trying the game for the first time. Ryland already had his moment to shine when he was a kid, surrounded by his friends. Now it was Alex's turn, and even if Ryland would never say that out loud, it was beautiful to see.


	3. Ninja Kid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In view of the recent position of Dan and Arin about fanfics, I'm kinda torn between continuing this story or stop it here. Sure, Alex and Ryland are fictional characters, but the dialogue here is directly connected to Game Grumps videos. And even if this work will never include explicit scenes, it still depict a slow grow of romantic and sexual desirs, which can be kinda awkward for some audience. 
> 
> So yeah, I don't know what to do about this, since I put a lot of importance about consent and respect. But since I already finished this chapter before the annoncement came out, here it is, and then I'll see where it goes after that.

As Alex was once again prostrated in front of the NES to put a new cartridge, Ryland took the opportunity to stretch his entire body, groaning in satisfaction as his spine was gently cracking. Maybe Alex’s project wasn’t that stupid of an idea, in retrospect. Sure, Ryland was certain that nobody would give a damn about the channel, and that it would disappear in the sea of other gamers’ contents, but at least it was nice to share his passion with his roommate, and not just play alone with his rotten thoughts about life and failure. Actually, if Alex would just stop asking personal questions while playing, it would truly be a perfect time.

\- Hey, it’s Ninja Kid! I used to play this all the time, even if it scared me as a kid.  
\- Oh, I’m sorry to hear that…  
\- Nah, it just freaked me out ‘cause it’s based on some weird japanese folklore, so now that I know more about them, it’s not that scary anymore.

Still, Alex wasn’t looking reassured, and Ryland smirked. He forgot how his roommate was a pussy in front of every horror film ever. That should be funny. So with the prospect of a great show, Ryland let himself fall back in the loveseat, legs extended on the cushions and arms crossed behind his head. Soon, the strange screen title in bright pink letters gave way to a forest dotted with lakes, while the blue ninja kid was tracing his path to the first skeleton temple.

\- Ok, let’s do it… Wait, is that an eyeball?  
\- Yeah, and it’s not the weirdest to come.

In fact, the eyeball monster was almost cute in a way, rolling towards the ninja in a ball of brown fuzzy fur. Not really the most creepy of the bunch, but it was, after all, the first temple : just a boring flat field with a pixelated forest background. 

\- What about the floating sperms?  
\- These are spirits, you need to catch them.  
\- That doesn’t sound very ninja.  
\- Yeah, especially with this dumb face. 

The ninja kid was incredibly well animated for the time, with an expressive face that was huffing while running and smiling when immobile. The only problem was his extremely wide eyes and his exaggerated rond cheeks, which were giving him a goofy look. 

\- It’s like he’s constantly remembering a good joke he had earlier. Look at him, there should be toys of that guy.  
\- Well, Mario was way more likable.  
\- So how many spirits do I need to catch?  
\- You see the count down right here ? That’s how many left you need, and then doors will appear. It’s kind of random, but one will get you out of the temple, and the other will get you to a boss fight.  
\- So because you played this as a child, you totally know what’s happening.  
\- Not really, no… There weren't a lot of elaborate stories on NES games.

Of course, since it was randomly generated, the second door was too high to be used without platforms, forcing Alex to take the one closer to the ground. Visibly, it was the one going back to the forest, except that the temple was now a blur of orange pixels. 

\- Wait, did the temple just explode?  
\- That means you finished the stage, and now you have to go to the next one.

The second temple was almost identical, except now the forest was behind a garden wall or something. But this time, the door opened to a tower level with purple bricks that was probably supposed to be stone.

\- Oh, it’s a boss room!  
\- Yeah, and now you have to go upstairs and kill him. Most of the time, you just have to shoot them in the eyes, it’s their weak point.

And it was the case, as Alex was now battling a giant ball of black fur with a single red eye, and blue eyelid closing at intervals to make it a little bit more difficult. It was so easy in fact that Alex defeated him in less than two seconds, going back to the forest biome to enter the third and last skeleton temple of that world. At least that one had a little bit of platforming for some variety.

\- There’s no spirits in this one.  
\- When the countdown shows a skull, it’s the number of enemies you have to kill.

These one were suddenly so much more difficult than the first eyeball monsters, with ghost and rival ninjas shooting shurikens, but still, pretty simple to kill in one attack. Then the door opened on another boss tower, and Alex raised his eyebrows in confusion as some big red pandas tried to block his ascension. 

\- What is that?  
\- I don’t know, an angry tanukis I guess. 

Since Alex gave no response to his answer, Ryland guessed that he was too engrossed in the game. Or maybe had just no idea what a tanuki was, and didn’t really want to know. After all, Ryland was the comic book and manga nerd, not the other way around. 

\- Shit, they are really hard to avoid.  
\- It’s because they follow you. 

Finally, with some precise jumps, Alex got to the top of the tower, where the boss was waiting for him while projecting air attacks from his mouth. 

\- He looks like Bob Ross! But as a cyclops. And without the hairs.

And with blue skin, so nothing like Bob Ross, but Ryland prefered to stay silent for this one. Not like he would have time to discuss this terrible design anyway, since Alex killed the giant monster in one shot. 

\- And now that you finished all the temples, you can go to the last one for a final boss.

Contrary to the others, the battle was in a stationary stage, and with a monster shooting lots of attacks in predictable patterns to avoid. Of course, why they chose for that battle a demonic rockstar was never explained in the game, and again, it didn’t really matter since Alex killed him in a handful of seconds.

\- Well, it’s really easy. Wait, I was in the forest and now I’m in the savannah?  
\- Yeah, it’s the next world, so different biomes.

To be fair, it looked more like a desert with orange sand and lots of brown stones, but that game wasn’t worth the time, nor the effort, to correct Alex about it. So Ryland sank more comfortably in the loveseat while Alex was suddenly flying on a magic carpet in the purple night of another temple, hovering above dead trees and killing what looked like bright orange eels. Then the door opened on the boss room, and Alex slipped his first horrified squeal of the day.

\- Oh, this two faced monster is so gross!  
\- That’s why this shit gave me nightmares as a four years old.  
\- You were probably too young to play this.  
\- Well, I wanted to impress the big brother of my friend. You know, the one who had the NES.  
\- Why?  
\- Because he was cool. And he was like, six years older than us, almost a teenager.

Fortunately, the real boss at the top of the tower was so ridiculous that it made Alex totally forget about the other one. It was like a cat without ears and with a bald pointy head, with eyes rolling in all directions and bubbles coming out of his mouth. Maybe it was supposed to be a kappa, but if that was the case, it was badly shown. In any case, it didn’t take long for Alex to understand that he had to hit each eye before giving a killing blow to the triangular nose. 

\- I forgot how terrible the music was, just fucking listen to this, it is a five seconds loop. It’s so depressing I should ask to put that at my funeral.  
\- Wow. And it’s the only music in the game?  
\- No, the boss room got another one, to make it more exciting. See?

The game was so easy that Alex was already at the boss room of the next temple, after harvesting spirits in a gloomy cemetery. And just to rub salt in the wound, it was exactly the same boss tower as the first temple, with the purple bricks and the black furry cyclops.

\- But it’s a five seconds loop too, with just different chord changes!  
\- That’s like the sound of a NES cartridge that doesn’t work. Represents the game well, this thing is so glitchy.  
\- At least it’s colorful.  
\- Yeah, they used like, all the sixteen colors available. And in the worst way possible to make our eyes bleed.  
\- I’m sure this game still have hardcore fans out there.  
\- Sure, they’ll be in your comments, trashing the way you play, hands flicking you off.

To better depict his words, Ryland waved aggressively two middle fingers towards the ceiling of their appartements, and was rewarded with the melodic laugh of Alex, not stressed at all by the concept of cyberbullying. To be fair, it’s not like he was in real risk of falling victim to trolls, these parasites were only leeching on popular channels after all. So Ryland just took the time to enjoy the moment, and the gentle smile of Alex as he was battling a cool flying mirror before accessing the next jungle biome, this time with four skeleton temples instead of three.

\- What’s that?  
\- The fuck if I know, the graphics are just not good enough. 

The level was in an abandoned house, with monsters the exact same brown color as the wall in the background. So yeah, maybe not the most clever choice, except if the goal was to camouflage them and maybe surprise the player? At least there was some nice kitsune to make a little bit of diversity, 

\- Oh, hello fire fox!  
\- Wow, his internet speed is really fast.

It was a lame joke, even with the sarcastic tone, but still, Ryland’s remark was received with a cute giggle from his roommate, so maybe it wasn’t that bad. Or maybe Alex was just too easy to please, which was probably the case. 

\- And I guess that’s medusa?  
\- No, she would have snakes for hair. This one’s a naga, like half-person, half-snake. 

The next temple was, again, the recycling of another one from the first world, but with different enemies. The monster in question had incredible white skin to contrast with her red hair, and strangely enough, the crooked nose of a witch. But again, if it wasn’t for her human top body, it would have been almost impossible to see her, because the snake part was the same deep green as the background.

\- I don’t think I ever make it this far in the game, by the way.  
\- Really?  
\- This thing is a 8bits nightmare, dude.

By the time Ryland had finished his diatribe about the horror of repetitive music, saturated colors and bad level design, Alex had already finished the two last skeleton temples and was walking into the final boss battle of the world.

\- Wait, what is this?  
\- What the fuck, it’s like a baby babushka.  
\- And he’s really hard to avoid too...

The blue humanoïde was gently bouncing while spitting something like ice crystals, and was looking pretty easy to beat like all the others. But when he got three quarters of his life left, he suddenly transformed into a big ugly old man with claws and pointy teeth, and that’s when Alex started shrieking in terror, losing all his concentration and dying in the process.

\- Woah! Oh no! Fuck! Ok, never again with this game, you’re right, it’s too scary. I’m done, and I’m hungry for a cheese sandwich.  
\- Can you pass me a bagel if you go to the kitchen?

In the end, since it was already noon, they took a big hour break for lunch. Twice, Alex hesitated to roll himself a joint to calm his nerves, before falling back on a bottle of beer. And same again just before going back to the living room, he was about to take another bottle when he suddenly stopped himself, and put the beer back into the fridge. Ryland said nothing, but there was a warm feeling in his chest, something like pride maybe, even if he didn’t really have hope for this to continue past the next week. So better enjoy it while it lasts.


End file.
